How to Deal with Loneliness to Find Peace and Belonging with God

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Loneliness is feeling empty, alone, and just sad. Not physically alone which at times is healthy, vital, and invigorating but a deep sense of feeling unwanted and/or invisible.

Learning how to deal with loneliness reminds me of riding a Ferris Wheel. One moment you are enjoying the view and suddenly the ride stops and you are suspended, disoriented, and alone with no clear way to get off.

Loneliness is triggered by many things and can make you feel irrelevant, insignificant, discouraged, and defeated.

Glancing at my watch, I knew it would read 3:00; the time my kids returned home from school for the past 20 years.

But on this day no preparations were needed. My third child had left for college and my afternoons were suddenly different…empty.

Loneliness came pressing down threatening to consume me. There was an uncomfortable longing left behind by absence and change.

I have learned how to deal with loneliness during other seasons but this time the sense of finality dropped down hard.

As tempting as it was to avoid and mask my emotions, I knew dealing with my loneliness was important because deep sadness does not just vanish.

Loneliness can begin to tarnish your peace and joy eventually affecting your self-worth.

Learning how to deal with loneliness helps you turn the page in your journey. It helps you self-analyze and discover new opportunities while reclaiming peace and joy.

But most importantly figuring out how to deal with loneliness helps you discover that Jesus is able to fill all the empty crevices in your soul.

Your relationship with God guides you through sadness to a supernatural strength on the other side of loneliness.

Your faith helps you learn how to deal with loneliness while finding peace and purpose with God.

“And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19 AMPC

lady looking up-how to deal with loneliness

Overcoming Loneliness

Loneliness is a real feeling that is not discussed often enough. Maybe we think admitting we are lonely is a sign of weakness or our own fault.

Maybe we are afraid of what we will discover if we crack open the tight hold loneliness has on our hearts.

But overcoming loneliness requires you to dissect and manage your emotions to get to the source of the void.

When I was in third grade my two best friends were checked out from school together…how fun!

“Can Vicki and Melissa please come to the office for early dismissal?”

‘Wait, what about me,’ I thought feeling left behind and lonely although a class of students surrounded me.

Looking back on this benign situation, I realize my sense of loneliness stemmed from being left out and rejected in other areas of my life.

Overcoming loneliness often starts with an examination of what our sad feelings are connected to or rooted in.

Trusting God in Loneliness

We often need to learn how to deal with loneliness after changes in life. But we also need to learn how to deal with loneliness because of past hurt and disappointment.

Whether we are in the midst of change or working through self-doubt, mistakes, or relationship woes, trusting God in loneliness carries us through sadness.

God did not create us to be alone. He values people and fellowship–we are always connected to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

God created a woman to give a man a companion. And Jesus gathered disciples to join Him in His earthly mission.

“Then God said, “And now we will make human beings; they will be like us and resemble us… So, God created human beings, making them to be like himself. He created them male and female”

Genesis 1:26-27 GNT

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.”
Genesis 2:18 GNT

“I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.”

John 15:15 MSG

We are created for togetherness, so we don’t need to be ashamed or think we are unhealthy for feeling lonely.

Although being alone sometimes serves a purpose, loneliness and emptiness are painful, so trusting God in loneliness brings healing and a closer relationship with Him

  • Sometimes we need to experience loneliness to realize we need Jesus. If we feel like we’ve got our life covered and are always, ‘good’ it is shallow and unsustainable. We were created with a spiritual hole only Jesus can fill.
  • Sometimes we need to experience loneliness to grow personally or spiritually. Spiritual fatigue can lead to feeling lonely and distant from God. We can take steps to reconnect and grow in our faith.
  • Sometimes we need to experience loneliness to evaluate relationships and make changes. Some relationships need boundaries and others need to pivot in a new direction. Loneliness signals that something is off.

Bible Verses about Overcoming Loneliness

There is comfort waiting to be found in the words of the Bible. When you read the Bible and desire to draw closer to God, the Holy Spirit will surround you with His warmth and presence.

One of the best ways to learn how to deal with loneliness is to study the Bible and pray for comfort and grace.

lady on beach-how to deal with loneliness

8 Bible Verses about Overcoming Loneliness

“You will show me the path that leads to life; your presence fills me with joy and brings me pleasure forever.”

Psalms 16:11 GNT

“Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.”

Psalms 25:16 NLT

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”

Psalms 27:10 NLT

“And I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never goes dry.”

Isaiah 58:11 GNT

“Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 GNT

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?”

Romans 8:31-32 MSG

These troubles and sufferings of ours are, after all, quite small and won’t last very long. Yet this short time of distress will result in God’s richest blessing upon us forever and ever!”

2 Corinthians 4:17 TLB

“Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]”

John 14:27 AMP

How to Deal with Loneliness

Learning how to deal with loneliness takes courage and intentionality.

Loneliness can paralyze your feelings and lead to busyness or resignation. During periods of loneliness, we can lash out or become reclusive. We can build empty relationships or ruin healthy ones.

To deal with feeling lonely, embrace the loneliness for a time and then cry out to God for comfort, healing, and a new direction.

 “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”

James 4:8 TLV

lady walking-how to deal with loneliness

4 Ways How to Deal with Loneliness

#1 When triggered by feelings of loneliness have a strategy to capture rogue thoughts and change your mindset. You can write scriptures down and place them in strategic places.

You can listen to certain worship songs that draw you into God’s presence. Or take deep breaths, and pray for God’s presence to fill you while surrendering your sadness.

#2 If possible, replace what led to your loneliness with something else. If loneliness is caused by a lost friendship look for new friends. If changes in your family caused loneliness pivot to new interests.

If loneliness is caused by loss take time to grieve and then slowly find a new purpose to use your God-given gifts. As long as we are alive, we are needed. There are endless opportunities to serve that will work wonders in helping you deal with loneliness.

“Each one, as a good manager of God’s different gifts, must use for the good of others the special gift he has received from God.”

1 Peter 4:10 GNT

#3 Find people to help you process loneliness. Your people or your tribe are an essential part of your journey. In good times it is easy to find friends but true friends stay by your side during tough times to help you process and face loneliness.

Strong relationships help you find a way through sadness so that loneliness does not feel so tragic and endless. They break up the pain by supporting you and providing slivers of hope.

“A friend always loves, and a brother is born to share trouble.

Proverbs 17:17 GW

#4 Seek professional help for prolonged feelings of loneliness that affect your behavior. Loneliness can lead to desperation and depression. Sometimes we can not grasp how to deal with loneliness and need professional help to shake off our sadness and give us the strength to move forward.

Overcoming Loneliness and Finding Peace with God

There are many causes of loneliness including,

Spiritual Fatigue 

Unhealthy Relationships or Lost Friendship

Divorce

Loss and Grief

Becoming a Parent

Raising Teenagers

Empty Nest

Rejection or Betrayal

Regardless of what is causing you to feel lonely finding peace with God is the best solution. Walking confidently in your identity does not immediately erase loneliness but provides the passageway to let God fill your emptiness with His love and peace.

Learning how to deal with loneliness is a lifelong journey. As you pass through seasons of life you find yourself immersed in a new season of loneliness. But God remains the same and is always there to help us pass through to the other side.

If you need to overcome loneliness, turn to Jesus who can fill every single spot of emptiness in your soul.

I would love to hear how you have learned how to deal with loneliness in your life!

 

Mary Rooney Armand

Mary Rooney Armand is a writer and speaker focusing on inspiring faith-based stories. She helps others grow in their intimacy with Christ and thrive in their personal relationships. Mary lives in New Orleans with her husband Cory and four children. Besides writing and speaking, she teaches Bible Studies and leads small groups. Mary has a Master of Business Administration and is a Life Coach. In 2019 she created ButterflyLiving and wrote a Bible Study titled, “Identity” which is available on Amazon. To learn more visit maryarmand.com or email [email protected]

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