Overcoming Rejection Through Faith

We all want to be loved, valued, and accepted. Rejection can quickly smear one or all three of these desires.

Rejection is real but its message is a lie which is why overcoming rejection is so important.

You can cover up rejection and act like it doesn’t affect you, but rejection leaves scars and can accumulate in your spirit.

By overcoming rejection through faith you counteract feelings of being unwanted or dismissed. On the other hand, if you don’t address rejection’s effect, its destructive power can change the way you see yourself.

To God, you have incredible value and He always loves you. When you are able to confidently walk in this identity you become better at overcoming rejection.

There are many signs of rejection–

  • Not being invited.
  • Not being noticed.
  • A subtle (or not so subtle) expression.
  • Not being heard.
  • Being turned away from.
  • Repeatedly being less favored.
  • Being completely ignored.

I can feel the sting of rejection just writing the words.

Overcoming rejection is important because the aftershock of rejection can lead to isolation and permanently alter your ability to have positive, healthy relationships.

My first memory of rejection was in grammar school. My mom walked up and I suddenly noticed the stares and awkward giggles from my friends.

I had never felt different before, but we were different. That day the great divide was revealed and unfortunately reared its ugly head throughout my childhood.

My mom had arrived from Honduras as an adult and still proudly displayed her culture and language.

Sometimes different is all it takes to experience the pain of being rejected.

I wrestled with rejection for years but also grieved for the cruelty my mom endured knowing that overcoming rejection was such a big part of her story.

Experiencing rejection from a stranger or acquaintance is hard, but rejection from those you love and are close to is even more painful. I have experienced both types and have learned the importance of overcoming rejection and moving on from the hurt.

Overcoming rejection can take a lifetime on your own, but with Jesus, it is possible to grow in confidence and strength to deflect its power.

“The Lord heals those who have a broken heart. He heals their sorrows.”

Psalm 147:3 NLV

smiling lady-overcoming rejection

What is Rejection?

Rejection and betrayal are closely related; betrayal is broken trust and rejection is being dismissed or devalued.

When you are rejected, it is a form of betrayal if the rejection comes from a person you love and trust. Both are painful and occur too often in relationships.

Two ingredients that feed rejection are jealousy and self-absorption. But sometimes we reject others out of self-preservation. No one can escape the path of being rejected at some point.

In the New Testament, Paul repeatedly faced rejection from the people He once stood beside. Whether it was fear of the unknown or an unwillingness to be open to God’s spirit, many rejected Paul and his message of hope and salvation.

But when the Jewish leaders saw the crowds, they were jealous and cursed and argued against whatever Paul said.” Acts 13:45 TLB

Sometimes rejection comes from a wounded spirit that needs affirmation which comes at the expense of another person. Understanding the source of rejection is an important step toward overcoming rejection.

What is rejection? Perceiving that you are unworthy. Whether the rejection you are feeling is real or perceived, it is important to understand that overcoming rejection requires you to identify when it happens in order to heal.

Rejection strikes everyone but it does not define anyone. We are all wonderfully made and worthy of love.

Jesus, who was perfect, faced extreme persecution and rejection. Because of His love for us, Jesus experienced humiliating rejection that led to death. Jesus modeled that overcoming rejection is possible. Despite what they did to Jesus’ physical body, no one could alter His spirit.

“Isn’t this Mary’s son, the carpenter, the brother of Jacob, Joseph, Judah, and Simon? And don’t his sisters all live here in Nazareth?” And they took offense at him.”

Mark 6:3 TPT

“Then Jesus asked them, “Didn’t you ever read this in the Scriptures? ‘The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is wonderful to see.’

Matthew 21:42 NLT

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Overcoming the fear of rejection is difficult especially when you repeatedly experience being rejected or are more sensitive to rejection.

Observing my children as toddlers, they did not have to overcome the fear of rejection. They learned about overcoming rejection through experience.

When you are not selected for activities, are left out of groups, and feel unnoticed, you pick up cues and learn the signs of rejection. In order to survive in relationships, you learn strategies or tactics for overcoming rejection.

Overcoming the fear of rejection requires a new mindset. A pivot to what our purpose is and who we are in Christ. This eternal perspective guides us and gives us the strength to not fear relationships and the rejection they may bring.

You walk into relationships with the hope of connecting and growing together instead of expecting rejection, pain, and offense.

Overcoming rejection does not mean it will stop happening to you. Unfortunately, rejection is a part of life.

But rejection does not have to dominate your thoughts, words, emotions, actions, or decisions. You can find freedom, experience joy, and learn how to restore broken relationships.

 Darryll Stinton’s theory is that by understanding who you are and what you are uniquely gifted and created to do, you more healthily process the sting of rejection and turn the initial pain into strength to become a better version of yourself.

Scriptures on Rejection

The Bible comforts, teaches, disciplines, and guides. In the midst of feeling rejected and unworthy, these scriptures on rejection bring encouragement, comfort, and point to healing.

The Bible is one of the best tools to help you with overcoming rejection and living a joyful life in Christ despite what others do or say.

flower-overcoming rejection

5 Scriptures on Overcoming Rejection 

  • “Listen to me, you that know what is right, who have my teaching fixed in your hearts. Do not be afraid when people taunt and insult you; they will vanish like moth-eaten clothing! But the deliverance I bring will last forever; my victory will endure for all time.” Isaiah 51:7-8 GNT
  •  “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 NLT
  • “And so those whom God set apart, he called; and those he called, he put right with himself, and he shared his glory with them. In view of all this, what can we say? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 GNT
  • “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT
  • “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:4 NLT

Examples of Rejection in the Bible

There are many examples of rejection in the Bible; stories of characters who faced rejection and recovered or lost their way. When we read the Bible and realize the people were real and met many of the same struggles and trials we do, it leads us toward wisdom, healing, and growth.

Reading about others and how overcoming rejection is possible makes us stronger in our faith and our relationships.

landscape-overcoming rejection

2 Examples of Overcoming Rejection in the Bible

Rejection was as real in Bible times as it is today. Many Bible characters had to overcome rejection to fulfill their purpose.

#1 Hagar is an example of overcoming rejection in the Bible

Hagar, Abraham’s mistress, bore his son, Ishmael. She was rejected by Sara to the point that she fled.

“So, after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.” Genesis 16:3-4 NIV

But on her journey, the Lord appeared to Hagar and guided her back so she could fulfill her purpose. I am sure, Hagar struggled with overcoming rejection but she was courageous; the Lord guided her path and her connection to God grew.

“The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.” Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.” Genesis 16:9-10 NLT

Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” Genesis 16:13 NLT

#2 David is an example of overcoming rejection in the Bible

David endured years of rejection from King Saul who was jealous of him and sought to have him killed.

Throughout this difficult time in his life, by overcoming rejection, David grew closer to God, forgave Saul, and wrote many of the Psalms that encourage us today.

“Of course, Saul was very angry. “What’s this?” he said to himself. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next, they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on King Saul kept a jealous watch on David.” 1 Samuel 18:8-9 TLB

“And, he (Saul) said to David, “You are a better man than I am, for you have repaid me good for evil. Yes, you have been amazingly kind to me today, for when the Lord put me in a place where you could have killed me, you didn’t do it.” 1 Samuel 24:17-18 NLT

“When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. Wherever I go, my enemies have set traps for me. I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me. Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.” Psalms 142:3-5 NLT

Overcoming rejection is greatly facilitated when we believe God sees and values us just the way we are. Just like David and Hagar, he can use you to shine His glory despite any rejection you are facing.

“To all who mourn…he will give beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness. For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory.

Isaiah 61:3 TLB

lady with suitcase-overcoming rejection

Overcoming Rejection

Do you have stories of overcoming rejection in your life? Everyone does.

I recently asked a close friend about her experience with rejection. As we shared stories she said, “Of course, I have been rejected but I am not overly sensitive to being rejected.”

Overcoming rejection was an easier journey for her.

We both agreed that there are different tolerances to noticing and struggling with rejection. Some people are more sensitive to being rejected which makes overcoming rejection a more treacherous, painful journey.

Rejection sensitivity could be based on our background, choices, mistakes, experiences, emotions, or just how we are created, but regardless of our rejection tolerance, overcoming rejection is never fun or easy.

5 Tips for Overcoming Rejection

Overcoming rejection is hard but possible. I have grown so much through my trials with rejection.

We can’t let a spirit of fear steal the joy found in loving one another. God desires to heal our broken hearts and guide us closer to Him and others.

Here are five tips to help you with overcoming rejection.

#1 Acknowledge that you were rejected.

To acknowledge means we accept the truth; we have been rejected. Acceptance has nothing to do with deserving rejection or being responsible for it. It is painful and disarming when someone rejects us. To not let the pain get buried in our spirit, acknowledging it is a great first step toward overcoming rejection.

#2 Read and study your Identity in Christ.

When we read and study our identity in Christ we grow in confidence and become more passionate about our purpose. Knowing we are loved and cared for propels us and helps us navigate overcoming rejection.

#3 Surround yourself with people who genuinely love and affirm you. Place boundaries around those who repeatedly reject you.

The people who surround us have a huge impact on the quality of our lives. Living in the glow of people who love us provides a safety net and is empowering, but even people who love us sometimes say or do hurtful things, make mistakes, and cause pain through rejection. Positive relationships add and multiply exponentially more than they subtract and divide.

#4 Pray for courage to climb over or disregard rejection.

The benefits of prayer are numerous and life-changing. And when we are focusing on overcoming rejection, prayer plays a huge role in fighting discouragement. Communicating with God about our hurt and confusion gives us an important release in our spirit and soul.

#5 Flee from unforgiveness and bitterness.

Forgiving someone who rejected you is tough especially when it is repeated. But in order to be free and connected to God’s grace, we must forgive and let them off the hook. That doesn’t mean we forget and go in for more; that’s when healthy boundaries help us.

Overcoming rejection helps us gain wisdom, strength, and the ability to forgive.

Our connection to God is strengthened when we lean on Him to release us from the grip of rejection. If we carry rejection on our backs, it gets weighty and leads to disappointment, bitterness, and isolation.

God is faithful and will help us embrace our identity in Christ and boldly forgive those who reject us which are both critical elements to overcoming rejection.

Rejection is not the foundation of your identity, Jesus is.

My hope if you are struggling to overcome rejection, is that you turn your pain over to Jesus and trust that overcoming rejection is possible through faith in Him. Be encouraged…Jesus always sees, loves, and values you just the way you are!

“My dear friend, I pray that everything may go well with you and that you may be in good health—as I know you are well in spirit.”

3 John 1:2 GNT

Author

Mary Rooney Armand

Mary is the creator and writer for the faith-based blog ButterflyLiving.org. Her writing is featured on multiple websites. She is the author of, “Identity, Understanding, and Accepting Who I Am in Christ”  and “Life Changing Stories“—a collaboration with 34 authors available on Amazon.

 

flower-overcoming rejection

Mary Rooney Armand

Mary Rooney Armand is an Author, Speaker, and Creator of the faith-based blog ButterflyLiving.org. She helps others grow in their intimacy with Christ and thrive in their relationships. Her work is featured on multiple websites including Women of Noble Character, Pray with Confidence, and The Brave Women Series. Mary is the author of, “Identity, Understanding, and Accepting Who I Am in Christ” and, “Life Changing Stories” a collaboration with 34 authors sharing stories of God’s faithfulness. Besides writing, Mary leads small groups and speaks at retreats. She directed Kids Hope USA, a mentoring program for children, worked in marketing and sales, and has led mission trips to Honduras. Mary is a life coach with a Bachelor's degree in Marketing and an MBA. She and her wonderful husband Cory live in New Orleans and are the parents of four children, a new daughter-in-law, and two dogs! Connect with Mary on Instagram or Facebook.

No Comments

  1. Ginger Moskau on January 4, 2022 at 10:39 am

    Excellent article Mary. To be able to express to someone that you have had this experience of rejection and how it has made you feel is HUGE in not letting it define you.

    • Mary Rooney Armand on January 5, 2022 at 12:00 pm

      Thank you, Ginger…for reading and for your encouragement!

  2. Cory Armand on January 5, 2022 at 11:35 am

    This is good medicine for the broken-hearted. So many of us walk around with injuries from rejection which can cause us to be callous over time. This in turn affects future relationships and our ability to trust. Appreciate this.

    • Mary Rooney Armand on January 5, 2022 at 12:01 pm

      thank you Cory Armand!!

  3. Jodi on January 18, 2022 at 3:24 pm

    Thank you for sharing. Yes, rejection is something we all feel and if we are close to our Lord, hopefully the sting is small and we overcome it well with His help.

    • Mary Rooney Armand on January 19, 2022 at 8:22 am

      Jodi, thanks for reading and adding your wise insight. Many blessings!

  4. Rose Bettencourt on March 10, 2022 at 4:27 am

    Amen! Valuable points! People want to cast out the spirit of rejection with no obvious plan after prayer. Faith for healing involves corresponding action like your 5 points, especially drawing boundaries to guard your heart and by putting out a new message to the devil that, “no you can’t come here, I am not a victim!”
    A lot of seriously rejected people draw rejection like a magnet by behaviors like groveling, over resolving, begging for a place, buying, apologizing for nothing to keep the peace?etc. That’s was me.. and even family.. shocked when you were a great parent and now you are rejected for no reason.. hence, people sense you can be taken advantage when they need you and dumped again because you have not put up your guards under false accusations. Knowing what you need to do and doing it by faith because of who you are in Christ takes surrendering it to God and staying in His presence daily. Jesus was rejected, but did not open his mouth. The more you grovel and try to defend yourself for acceptance, the more you stay bound

    • Mary Rooney Armand on March 10, 2022 at 12:07 pm

      Rose, thank you for reading and I am very thankful you were blessed. Rejection can really keep us from living the full life God intended. Thanks also for sharing your thoughts!

  5. Gloria Ann DeNicola on April 20, 2022 at 2:16 pm

    Wow. Thanks for throwing out the candid lifeline! I was barely staying afloat after a compounded episode that came from a couple of different directions. This article is so clear and concise – and honestly humble. I can feel it lifting off of me…….

    • Mary Rooney Armand on April 21, 2022 at 11:19 am

      Gloria, rejection is so hard! I am thankful that my words provided a lifeline. Many blessings as you move on!

  6. Alicia on September 3, 2022 at 3:55 pm

    This is an excellent post with excellent examples and it definitely resonated with me. I was bullied in elementary school which left me feeling many things including rejection. But God stepped in and said no more and now I know who I am in Christ. Many blessings to you.

    • Mary Rooney Armand on September 6, 2022 at 12:00 pm

      Alicia, thanks for reaching out and letting me know my article was helpful. Bullying is awful so I am grateful you have found freedom in Christ. Blessings to you as well!

  7. Covenant Adebayo on December 6, 2022 at 4:41 am

    This is article came in handy while I was thinking over the the topic of rejection. in fact I had to share it with a group of youth. We were all blessed. Thank you so much.

    • Mary Rooney Armand on December 6, 2022 at 11:27 am

      Thank you for sharing that the article was helpful! Continued blessings to you and your youth group.

  8. […] all made or been on the losing side of these mistakes that leave us feeling hurt and devalued. But we can redeem our mistakes in relationships by sincerely apologizing, forgiving, […]

  9. […] sometimes works in reverse. It doesn’t feel very painful at first. Fear, disappointment, or rejection may leave you feeling numb or unable to […]

  10. […] as we move toward reconciliation He promises to empower us, bless us and see us through every relational rift we will […]

  11. […] The painful consequences of gossip are lost friendships and lingering feelings of betrayal and rejection. […]

  12. Ian on April 22, 2023 at 7:30 am

    Amazing post Mary!! I am grateful to be brought to something that really resonates with me during my new walk with God! I am a health coach working with clients who are deep into their own wilderness and pain. Rejection in many different forms comes into my experience daily and I know that to really fulfill my promise, it is imperative for me to keep working on healing my own soul and wounds. This post helps more than you know to keep working on connecting with spiritual maturity!! Thank you 🙂

    • Mary Rooney Armand on April 22, 2023 at 11:18 am

      What a blessing! Thanks for encouraging me today…may you continue to grow closer to Jesus!

  13. […] we want to experience healthy relationships we must grieve and move on from the disappointment of rejection and betrayal. Not easy, but […]

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