An amusement park ride-Learning to release our children

Learning to Release our Children

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Learning to release our children has been difficult for me and has required a deep trust in God and an incredible amount of faith.

A Park Ride Mimics Life

Standing in line for the Musical Express, I watched the rider’s faces as it spun around in endless circles with the high pitched music blaring in the background.  Some smiled or laughed while others looked terrified unable to fully enjoy the experience.

As we boarded, thinking we knew what to expect, I felt slightly apprehensive and vulnerable.  It’s the feeling that hits when a situation is beyond our ability to control the outcome.

We tried to emotionally prepare ourselves before the ride started, but the biggest trick was to know when and where to hold on and when it was time to let go and just enjoy the ride.

It reminded me of how I feel at times learning to release our children into new stages of life.

Life often seems to mimic the Musical Express ride; spinning around slightly out of our comfort zone. This sense of losing control is heightened when one of our children is attempting something new or entering into a new season.

Oversight is Preparation for Release

Oversight is necessary when children are small, but holding their hand and guiding them is just preparation for their eventual release into life experiences without us. 

As they grow, the outcome of the choices they make is out of our control.  We can endeavor to teach and prepare them, but at some point, we must release them from the grip our heart has on their destiny.

This is especially crucial when they leave home for the first time whether to travel, attend college, marriage or a new job.

learning to release our children

I often rely on a few truths which have helped me release our children and trust that God is with them even when they struggle, feel afraid or alone.

  1. Realize and believe that our children are a gift from God and He loves them infinitely more than we do.  “Children are a gift from the Lord;
    they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3 NLT
  2. Start at a young age to release your children to age and maturity appropriate experiences.
  3. Fill your life with other purposeful activities that fulfill you emotionally, practically, spiritually and physically.
  4. Communicate your feelings to others who have gone before you and those who are walking beside you and seek wise counsel.
  5. Trust that God is always in control even when the outcome is not what you counted on or expected.
  6. Remember your own childhood and the greatest seasons of learning were not when walking beside a parent holding hands but when you stepped out and did something on your own.
  7. Pray to God that as you release your children, they will be drawn to Him and all the goodness and grace that He offers. “…you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is to you, to your children, and to those far away–all who have been called by the Lord our God.” Acts 2:38-39 NLT

Just like a ride on the Musical Express, knowing when it is time to hold on and when it is time to let go of our children will provide everyone with a much better ride. 

There is freedom trusting God that is only available when we put our faith in Him instead of our own strong grip.

For insights on how to establish healthy boundaries for your kids: https://www.boundariesbooks.com/boundaries-books/boundaries-with-kids/

When we Release our Children it Leads them to God

When we begin to release our children, we can enjoy each stage of their childhood feeling less afraid. Our children gain self confidence and self assurance in stages, so they are ready to leap into opportunities.

God is able to speak to them directly and they learn to hear His voice, so they can develop a personal relationship with Him which is the ultimate goal.

This relationship with Christ is what will help their release be one where they become people with a strong moral compass and a love for others.

For further reading on trusting God:Already Rescued

 

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32 thoughts on “Learning to Release our Children”

  1. Avatar

    So VERY true… all of it! I had to let go of both my sons the same summer — one (unplanned) to boarding school and the other (planned) to his first year of college. The work God has done by me letting go is better than I could have hoped for. Why would I expect any less from Him? He knit each of us together in our mother’s womb so we could become what He planned! And by letting go and pressing into Him, His plans prospered all of us and gave us a hope for the future. ❤

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  3. Avatar

    So true! I love the way you tied the feeling of being on a roller coaster with learning to let go of our kids. It is the scariest thing we will ever do and yet they are safest in the hands that created them. Thank you for sharing ways that we can make this easier. Having a teenager I found this valuable!

  4. Avatar

    I love this part : When we begin to release our children, we can enjoy each stage of their childhood feeling less afraid. Our children gain self confidence and self assurance in stages, so they are ready to leap into opportunities.
    And yes, like a moment in the park.

  5. Avatar

    I think most people in the world think that learning to release our children happens sometime during their young adulthood. However, like you wrote, it is a process that takes place as we raise them to follow God.

  6. Avatar

    I can resonate with this post 😀 (coming from a toddler’s mum) I felt very nervous to take my child to nursery when she was to start. I can imagine having to release teenagers into new life stages and trusting God to take charge of their lives…I found all the tips you shared very helpful. Great Post

  7. Avatar

    Oh sweet Mama! I know exactly how you feel lol. I never felt more “wide awake” than when my daughters left. The fear is intense but like you said, God loves our kids more than we do. And putting them in His hands is the best and safest place for them to be. Love this post sweet sister! ❤

  8. Avatar

    This reminds me of the admonition to “Train up a child in the way he should go….” Thanks for sharing. Many blessings to you!

  9. Avatar

    My son just turned 13 last week, so we’re entering a whole new season with him. He’s a teenager, yikes! I appreciate the practicality of your post and that you’ve offered some helpful tips to help me walk through this new phase with him.

  10. Avatar

    Releasing our kids are one of the most difficult things a mother has to do. We don’t want to see them get hurt, we just want to be there all the way. But God loves them too and even more than us…can you imagine that??? We have to trust He knows what is best.

  11. Avatar

    Mary, I couldn’t agree with you more. Our children are literally our seeds. Just like planting a garden, we can’t expect to see any growth until we release the seed into the ground. Then we have to water and nurture it to aid in its growth. Once it’s planted, you don’t hover over it 24 hours. You periodically check it to make sure its on track to reach it’s highest potential. Children need the appropriate space to grow. Thank you for the reminder.

  12. Avatar
    savoringeachmoment6cd0664a71

    It takes so much faith to let our children “go” but at the same time, it is such a relief to know that God loves them so much more than we ever could. He wants only good for each of us and not evil.

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