When should parents let go of their children and trust God? As the mother of 4 children, it has been a journey learning to release my children.
Knowing when to hold on and when to let go requires a deep trust in God.
But letting go and trusting is possible when we believe God is in control.
When Should Parents Let Go
Understanding when should parents let go was a question I reflected on during a recent trip to an amusement park.
Standing in line for the Musical Express, I watched the faces of the riders as they spun around in endless circles with high-pitched music blaring in the background.
Some smiled or laughed while others looked terrified unable to enjoy the experience fully.
Boarding the ride, thinking I knew what to expect, I felt slightly apprehensive and vulnerable. It’s the feeling that hits when a situation is beyond our ability to control the outcome.
We tried to prepare ourselves emotionally before the ride started, but the biggest trick was knowing when to hold on and when to let go and enjoy the ride.
It reminded me of how it feels to learn to let go of our children into new stages of life.
Life often seems to mimic the Musical Express ride; spinning around slightly out of our comfort zone. This sense of losing control is heightened when one of our children is attempting something new or entering into a new season.
Why is it Hard for Parents to Let Go
Why is it hard for parents to let go of their children? Because we have done so much for them it is hard to transition and let go of control.
When our children are young, we watch them closely and carefully guide their steps.
But when we begin to understand that holding their hand and guiding them is preparation for their eventual release without us, we can slowly let go.
As they grow, the outcome of their choices is out of our control. We hope to teach and prepare them, but at some point, parents must let go of the grip our heart has on their destiny.
This is especially important when they leave home for the first time whether to travel, attend college, get married, or start a new job.
Why is it hard to know when should parents let go? Because we don’t control what happens when they make their own decisions. That is when we need the most faith.
When Should Parents Let Go of Their Children: 7 Truths
As we wonder when should parents let go, here are 7 truths that will help you trust God with your children even if they struggle, fail, feel afraid, or are alone:
- Realize and believe that our children are a gift from God and He loves them infinitely more than we do.
- Start letting go in small ways at a young age. Instead of hovering we can let go of our children to age and maturity-appropriate experiences. Because every child is uniquely created, when should parents let go looks differently for each child.
- Fill your life with other purposeful activities that fulfill you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
- Communicate your feelings to others who have gone before you and those walking beside you. Seek wise counsel. Others can help you process when to let go.
- Trust that God is always in control even when the outcome is not what you counted on or expected.
- Remember your childhood. The seasons of greatest learning were not walking beside a parent holding hands but when you stepped out and did something on your own; when your parents let go.
- Pray that as you let go of your children, they will be drawn to God and all the goodness and grace He offers.
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.”
Psalm 127:3 NLT
“…you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is to you, to your children, and to those far away–all who have been called by the Lord our God.”
Acts 2:38-39 NLT
Similar to a ride on the Musical Express, knowing when it is time to hold on and when should parents let go will provide everyone with a much better ride.
There is freedom in trusting God and putting our faith in Him instead of our strong grip.
When Parents Let Go, Children Trust God
When should parents let go? Remember, when parents let go children learn to trust God.
Everyone pursues their own identity in Christ. Our children are writing their stories and we don’t control the pen. It is a tough reality to accept when you invest so much money, time, and love in your children. But we can trust God because He loves our children more than we do.
As we question when should parents let go, we sometimes get in the way of our children’s journey to find their relationship with Jesus.
When we begin to let go of our children and trust God, we can enjoy each stage of their childhood feeling less afraid. Our children will gain self-confidence and self-assurance in stages and will be ready to leap into opportunities.
God can speak to our children directly. They learn to hear His voice and develop a personal relationship with Him to find a sense of contentment and purpose.
When our kids develop a relationship with Christ it helps parents know when to let go.
They can grow spiritually, mature, and become people with strong character and a love for others.
When should parents let go? This is one of the most difficult questions to answer in parenting. If you need more guidance, there are many books and articles on the subject.
Here is one article offering resources for when should parents let go and how to establish healthy boundaries for children: 6 Christian Parenting Books.
Author
Mary Rooney Armand
Mary is the creator and writer for the faith-based blog ButterflyLiving.org. Her writing is featured on multiple websites, and she is the author of Identity, Understanding, and Accepting Who I Am in Christ and Life Changing Stories, a devotional collection available on Amazon.
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