Grow Through Grief: How to Faithfully Rebuild Community After Loss

It seems impossible to experience and grow through grief, but a relationship with God gives us hope.

If you or someone you love is grieving, Cheri Fletcher bravely shares her story of the loss of her daughter, Annie Lauren, and her healing journey despite the challenge of growing through grief.

By faith and God’s presence, you can grow in your faith and in your relationships in a season of grief.

After our daughter, Annie Lauren, passed away, I quickly realized something I never expected: grief isn’t only about losing someone you love. It’s also about losing the sense of connection you once had with the living.

Some friends never called at all, and others—who once did—slowly stopped.

Not because they didn’t care, but because they didn’t know what to say.

Conversations became shorter, quieter. Invitations faded.

The world around me grew smaller, and before I knew it, a wall had started to rise — one I didn’t build, but one grief often does.

That’s what grief can do.
It doesn’t just break our hearts—it isolates them.

And that’s precisely what the enemy wants.

Grow Through Grief: The Enemy’s Strategy

Learning to grow through grief is important because God has a plan for our restoration, but the enemy has a plot to isolate us.

He knows if he can use our grief to divide us—making us lose not only the one we loved but also the people who are still here—then he can make us believe we’re separated from God too.

The enemy is clever. He doesn’t have to destroy relationships and stop us from growing through grief with loud conflict; he just has to make us too afraid to speak.

He whispers:
“Don’t bring up their name—you’ll make it awkward.”
 “You should be over this by now.”
 “They don’t understand what you’re feeling, so don’t even try.”

And so, we stop talking.

We pull back.
We isolate.
We start to believe that our grief makes others uncomfortable—that our tears are too heavy to bring into a conversation.

But silence is not safety. Silence is separation.

When we stop talking, we stop connecting—and when we stop connecting, we stop healing. The enemy knows that isolation is one of the fastest ways to drain hope from the human heart.

He wants our pain to become a prison, our sorrow to sound like shame, and our memories to stay locked away instead of shared at the family table.

Misunderstanding Grief

People rarely mean to hurt someone who is grieving. They just don’t know how to help.

-Some offer advice when we need empathy.
-Some avoid us when we need presence.
-Some say nothing at all because they fear saying the wrong thing.

But in that silence, a wall begins to rise—a wall made of misunderstanding.

And on both sides of that wall, people feel alone. The one who grieves feels forgotten. The one who wants to help feels helpless.

It’s no wonder grief divides families, friendships, and even faith communities.

We start losing more than the person we loved—we lose each other in the process.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

The Language of Grief

After losing Annie, I realized that grief has its own language—a language most of us were never taught.

The language of grief is made up of sighs, pauses, and moments where no words seem right.

It’s spoken through the things we remember, the stories we tell, the tears that fall when no one’s looking.

But just like any language, grief can be learned.

-We can learn to listen without rushing to fix.
-We can learn to ask gentle questions rather than offer quick solutions.
-We can learn that sometimes, the most healing thing we can say is, “Tell me about them.”

The language of grief isn’t about perfect words; it’s about compassionate presence.

It’s about creating safe spaces where stories can breathe life again.

Because comfort, at its root, means COM (together) + FORT (strength).Together-strength.

Growing through grief teaches us that God designed us to find strength together.

Grow Through Grief: Jesus Understands

Remember Jesus Wept.

One of the most powerful moments in Scripture is found in John 11:35—just two words: “Jesus wept.”

Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, yet He still entered into the pain of that moment.

-He didn’t rush to preach or correct anyone’s emotions.
-He didn’t stand outside the tomb saying, “You’ll see him again someday.”-He cried.
-He grieved.
-He stood shoulder to shoulder with Mary and Martha in their sorrow, fully present in their ache.

That is the language of grief—divine empathy.

Jesus didn’t avoid grief; He entered it.

And He invites us to do the same.

When we sit with someone in their sorrow, when we cry together, when we say a name that still carries weight—we are following the example of Jesus.

We are choosing connection over correction, compassion over comfort zones.

Grow Through Grief: Stay Connected

Healing doesn’t happen in a hurry, and it doesn’t happen in hiding.

We grow through grief in community—in small, sacred conversations where we remember together.

Some of my most healing moments came when someone dared to ask, “What was it like to teach Annie how to drive?”

They stepped into the ache of loss instead of away from it—and that courage gave me comfort.

That one question opened a floodgate of laughter and stories. It allowed me to remember not just the pain of her loss, but the beauty of her life.

-Every shared story becomes a stepping stone out of isolation.

-Every memory spoken aloud builds a bridge between hearts.

When we share our grief, we don’t multiply sorrow—we divide it. And when we share our memories, we don’t lose our loved ones again—we keep their influence alive.

Grow Through Grief: Rebuild Community 

God designed us for connection—for meaning, reconciliation, and relationship.

The enemy plots division, but God’s plan is always restoration.

If you’re walking through grief—or you know someone who is—I want to encourage you: don’t let isolation have the final word.

Reach out to one person.
Ask a friend to coffee.
Tell a story about the one you miss.

And if you don’t know what to say to a grieving friend, try saying, “I don’t have the right words, but I’m here.”

Because being there is the right word.

You might even ask a simple, thoughtful question that opens a door to connection—something like, “What’s one of your favorite memories of them?”
 or “What’s something about your life today that you think would make them smile?”

Sometimes that one question can turn silence into sacred conversation.

Love is expressed in presence, not perfection.

Rebuild Community: Share Scars and Share Comfort

In 2 Corinthians 1, Paul writes that the comfort we receive from God becomes the comfort we offer others.

That means our pain doesn’t have to be wasted.

Our scars can become invitations to connection—proof that we’ve been there, and that healing is possible.

The isolation of grief is real, but it’s not the end of the story.

When we learn to speak the language of grief—the language Jesus spoke when He wept—we begin to rebuild what the enemy wants to destroy:  connection, compassion, and community.

How to Grow Through Grief on YouTube

Join us as Cheri shares her story of loss and growing through grief while rebuilding community. Listen here.

Grow Through Grief: A Gentle Invitation 

If you’re walking through grief—or walking beside someone who is—take one small step toward connection today.

Ask. Listen. Share. And most importantly, remember that you are not alone.

Grief can be isolating, but healing grows where connection begins.

That desire to bridge the silence is what led me to create Beyond “I Don’t Know What to Say” Grief Communication Cards.

They’re a gentle resource filled with prompts to help you open the door again—to start conversations that comfort, heal, and honor the ones we miss.

You can use them around the family table, in grief groups, or as a thoughtful gift for someone you love.

I hold a simple but profound belief: Grief is complicated. Communication doesn’t have to be.

Author

Cheri Fletcher

Cheri helps others navigate life’s unexpected transitions, reminding them that though their roles may change, their purpose remains eternal. She is the creator of Beyond I Don’t Know What to Say Grief Communication Cards. To connect with Cheri, visit cherifletcher.com and learn more about the cards and Annie’s story.

*Dedicated to Annie Lauren Fletcher