I did not understand the pain of feeling forgotten until the day I noticed my brother outside of my friend’s window.
Watching as he paced back and forth on the sidewalk, I could sense his sadness. Taking a few small steps he would pause, glance at the window, turn around, and repeat the pattern. “What is he doing?” I thought.
Growing up, my family lived in a modest neighborhood full of kids. I was often invited to friends’ homes and savored every opportunity. I did not often deal with feeling forgotten.
On that unforgettable afternoon, my friends and I were excited about a trip to Burger King. In our excitement, we did not notice or include my brother.
Trying to balance joy and embarrassment, tears slid down my cheeks as I looked away.
I was tempted to ignore my brother, but his defeated posture and pleading eyes gripped my heart. He looked so sad and defeated with his dark hair sticking up and his faded t-shirt hanging longer than it should.
At that moment, it suddenly dawned on me–he wanted to be invited too.
This may not have been the first time he was left out, but it was the first time I noticed.
The expression on his face said, “See me, pick me, include me”.
Although I was only a child, it was an awakening– a revelation of the ache associated with feeling forgotten and the longing to belong.
“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”
Mother Teresa
Feeling Forgotten in the Bible
Feeling forgotten in the Bible is part of many character’s stories including Jesus.
When we are feeling forgotten, it is tempting to think we are the only people who feel this way.
But at some point, we all feel forgotten, invisible, or overlooked.
Two Bible Characters Who Felt Forgotten
#1 Joseph felt forgotten
Joseph was feeling forgotten when his brothers threw him into a pit to die.
“Now when Joseph reached his brothers, they stripped him of his tunic, the [distinctive] multicolored tunic which he was wearing; then they took him and threw him into the pit.
Genesis 37:24 AMP
Joseph went from feeling forgotten and left to die to becoming a ruler of Egypt and saving his family. He forgave his brothers and included them in his life.
#2 The woman at the well felt forgotten
In John 4, Jesus had an encounter with a woman who was probably feeling forgotten too:
“A woman, a Samaritan, came to draw water. Jesus said, “Would you give me a drink of water?” The Samaritan woman, taken aback, asked, “How come you, a Jew, are asking me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?”
Since Jewish and Samaritan people did not mingle, her question to Jesus reveals her dismay that a Jewish man noticed her and spoke to her.
Feeling forgotten was common for women who were often devalued and considered irrelevant.
But Jesus did not dismiss the woman and reached out to her.
Jesus invited her to have a meaningful conversation. Just as He invites us today.
The woman at the well went from feeling forgotten to having a life-changing encounter with the Savior of the world.
4 Ways to Know God Sees You
We often measure our inner feelings with what we see on the outside of others. We will never win in this balancing act, and this is how we build a wall of bitterness.
Even when we feel forgotten or invisible, it is comforting to know God always sees us. He will never choose us last. And He thinks we are the best.
1)Jesus measures our worth based on love
God created everyone and loves us equally. We are all precious to him and worthy of His love.
When we surrender to God and are confident in our identity in Christ, we begin to model His character.
We grow spiritually and exhibit the fruit of the spirit…this is the success that matters to God and is possible because of His gifts, grace, and indwelling spirit.
2)We are all valued and belong
How can we know we are valued and belong? Jesus came to earth, lived amongst us, and died for us.
If you were the only person alive He would sacrifice His life for you. Christ’s unconditional love strengthens our sense of value and confidence that we belong.
3)God lavishes His generous and extravagant love on us
God always loves us. No mistake erases His desire to be in a close relationship with you.
Our challenge is to accept and receive His love. It is natural to want to belong, but God alone makes us happy, content, and whole.
We can’t eliminate difficult people, situations, or rejection. But we can invest in those people who value us and lean on the peace God offers through His love.
4)God is merciful and helps us heal
Loss and rejection are real and can jeopardize our ability to walk confidently and freely.
God helps us heal from rejection, betrayal, and loss. God is merciful, faithful, and gracious…always!
God Sees You, Picks You, and Includes You
Reflecting on that long-ago day, it had a profound impact on me.
When my heart turned from focusing on myself to others, I became my brother’s advocate so he could join us. I also became aware that feeling forgotten is painful.
God opened my eyes to become sensitive to those who are feeling forgotten which has helped me grow in my relationships.
We all seek a sense of belonging.
But…
Sometimes we will not be picked.
Sometimes we will be left out.
Sometimes we will be forgotten.
In those moments when we feel invisible, overlooked and disappointed, we can draw closer to God. His presence fills our longings and replaces sadness with a peace that passes all understanding.
If you are feeling forgotten today, know that God sees you, picks you, includes you, and never leaves you.
He loves and adores each one regardless of your past decisions or current circumstances. Find time to be still in His presence.
1 John 3:1 NIV
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”
Matthew 6:30-33 MSG
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?
What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.
Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”
Author
Mary Rooney Armand
Mary is the creator and writer for the faith-based blog ButterflyLiving.org. Her writing is featured on multiple websites. She is the author of, “Identity, Understanding, and Accepting Who I Am in Christ” and “Life Changing Stories“—a collaboration with 34 authors available on Amazon.
Very powerful and encouraging. I relected back on my childhood about being unseen, forgotten, lonely,
and unloved. I realize now why God chose me to follow Him. Praise You Lord.
There are people all around us, even in church who need to included. I am 75 and try to include the elderly more. We have much to offer.